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You will Fail at Your New Year's Resolutions if you don't address this...

Updated: Jan 5, 2023

It's going to be different this year. You have your goals written out and your energy is positive about sticking to it this year ~no matter what. What about that unresolved emotion from childhood that you thought you were over pop up again and the behavior that comes with it to derail you. I mess up. You mess up. We all mess it up. It's a fact of life. Not because we are bad, lame or unworthy.

We will mess it up because we are human beings that had shit happen to us.

Some of these experiences are unresolved and hold quite a bit of emotions attached. Some experiences and feelings we don't even remember. The body remembers. These unresolved feelings and behaviors pop up when we are taking the path of improving ourselves. Why? They need to be addressed so they are no longer self sabotaging. When these behaviors became anchored in to our nervous systems way back when, it was because these behaviors were for protection.

These behaviors no longer serve you. It's more than 'just letting them go'. I do hate it when people say this because it feels like a total dismissal. Sometimes that does phrase work. Especially, when you know you're healed. Just letting it go does not in the beginning. There is a lot work that needs to be done. When these feelings do pop up, you're ready to shift those feelings to more productive life enhancing feelings and behaviors.

As these road blacks or obstacles come up (and they will, even when it appears someone has their shit together) you will be better prepared and you can be ready. Some of these feelings and emotions that come up needing to be healed can feel debilitating. Sometimes they are and as you heal them they will have less and less power over you. The old saying "you will keep repeating the same (whatever it is) until it's healed" There are different aspects about what needs to be healed and why it seems like it comes at you over and over again. I get it. It gets OLD!!

It can feel like you are not making head way. You are!! When the unwanted emotions and behaviors keep showing up. Pause, Breathe, Shift the Mindset. The body is addicted to the stress. It's addicted to the drama. We have all known a drama queen. It's addicted to the adrenaline. We all know adrenaline junkies. It feels like you can't control yourself when the emotions and behaviors have been triggered. This just shows you how deeply the emotions and the behaviors are engrained into the nervous system. It's habit. You can change that. You have the control. Here you go control freaks! Something you can have control over.

When all this happening and it begins to disrupt your plan for your fitness goals. It doesn't mean give up on your goals when all this STUFF comes up. So many people do. They don't have the tools to get themselves through the situtation. When I used to run my 28 day Nurtition and Fitness Challenge, people would panic when a family event was going to happen in the middle of the challenge or a holiday. People would use these as excuses not realizing that this is life. They wanted to do it perfect. Being a perfectionist is the art of missing the big picture. I do this. I have to catch myself. Nothing is perfect. No one is perfect. We are ever evolving. That's how you evlove is by not being perfect. It means we have somewhere to go ~ Up.

All the unresolved emotions and self sabotaging behaviors is your higher self letting you know that if you want to improve you need to care of this and right now if you want that goal because you need to be a more healed version of yourself. There are many times I've had to put things on hold, not workout as often, etc. I will share more and more of this as the year goes on.

Remember it’s the journey. There are many roads to the journey that creates the destination and most of those roads are bumpy. It's never linear and paved perfectly. That is fantasy-land. You cannot have a long lasting lifestyle change without the mindset changing with it. It will not happen and you will fuind yourself stuck. The 4 week, the 8 week or the 12 week Challenges, they don't fix anything in that amount of time. What is does do is that it start the process of change. You either want to or you don't. It becomes a new lifestyle.

The journey of weight loss, getting in shape and fitting into smaller clothes (for some bigger clothes) there will be bumps in the road, ups and downs and Plateaus. Embrace those plateaus. That’s when everything feels perfect. People begin to panic (addicted to stress comes in) with the plateaus. This doesn't mean all the hard work is going down the drain and all the weight is going to come back on over night. The body is also enjoying feeling good and most importantly the body is very busy prepping for the next phase. If you are always in a constant state of busy, doing or pushing energy out and no recovery then you will go backwards. The plateau is an important phase. Enjoy it!

The plateau might last a day or two, a month or two or even as long a year or two. Just depends on what it is fitness or business or a fitness business ;-). Just keep going!! Even if it’s for 5 f'ing minutes. My body doesn't always want to workout everyday and this is what I do for a living. If after 10-15 minutes of warming up that my body still feels like I'm dragging around cinderblocks for shoes. I'm done. I simply need more rest. If I'm teaching a class I will shift gears as much as I can. Sometimes the class feels the same way and embraces something a little easier.

Even if you have to do a Mindshift every 5 minutes. You’re shifting the internal dialogue or narrative. Some of these narratives are deeply imbedded into the nervous system. Just takes a long time to keep shifting into peace and calm vs chaos and stress. The body and the mind want to go back to what it knows because it's comfortable. Feeling calm and peaceful can feel very scary if that's not a normal feeling. Being in a safe relationship can feel quite scary if that's not what you know. It's takes time, compassion and grace for oneself to shift into new narratives and internal dialogs.

This doesn't mean we wont encounter anger, worry or stress. It's not to not ever feel these feelings again. It's to learn the difference between feelings that are related to an emotion that is unresolved in some way. This is not an easy task. If someone or a behavior that someone is doing triggers you and you don't know why and it came out of the blue. This is likely and unresolved emotion that needs to be addressed.

Coming all the way back to your New Year's Resolution. You are still a human being living on planet earth —extend grace and compassion out to yourself.

No need to start out at 100mph. You are not going to lose 10-100 pounds 5days and everything is easy sailing after that. I'm not going to build the 5-10 programs and courses I have in mind in a week either and that telepathically everyone will know I have it and just buy it!! LOL!! Nothing could be further from the truth. It's about being consistent. At 52 still maintaining my figure has been from being consistent, being smart when it came to food, working on re-parenting myself for all the unresolved emotions and self sabotaging behaviors that rear their ugly head.

Whether you want to believe it or not ~You are having to build a brand new person

Breaking down old behaviors and then building new ones

Think of it as buying an old house and you want tear it down to build an updated house.

This takes time as there will be discoveries you will be making along the way.

If you have ever redone a house you know that you may have to order parts because as a wall came down something needed more repair than initially thought. Maybe those parts that are on order are now back ordered and it takes longer.

Maybe you have been eating crap for years. The body needs time to shed old cells and build healthier ones. You are over 100 trillion cells. This does not happen over night. Maybe you eat pretty good but you tried every diet fad and your metabolism is screwed. It takes time to heal. Your body will need time to relearn how to detoxify properly and store glucose properly and release it properly (liver). The one thing I did that was not good for me as it related to food. I didn't do crazy diets. This was a one time event that lasted a couple of years. I was only 16. I was bulimic. This was the only shit thing I did to my body as it related to food. It was a big one.

I conquered it. This event also is what got me started on this journey. Did I see a psychologist? Yes. She was horrible. Did I see another one? NO! I did sort this out myself. I will do a separate blog or vlog around this issue. Unresolved emotions are a big deal. I had many other issues come up after that. Does it mean you have to experience something this horrible to get on track? I hope not!!

I do my work consistently. This is an on-going journey. Do I have plateaus? Yes! I love them because I get to learn peace an calm. These are two feelings that have been very foregin for me. They are not as foregin anymore and no old behaviors or situtations will take that away from me.

That’s why when you decide to work with a highly qualified performance coach it’s an investment not a frivolous waste of money. Usually people don't realize some of the things they waste their money on. They don't realize it because they have put such high value on things they feel have high value. They may not be ready to place such value on exercise, higher quality foods and emotional work.

It’s more than me standing there counting your reps on a machine anyone can figure out; placing more weight on the machine and pretending we are doing something good for your body; and then by magic (tons of unnecessary supplements) you are where you want to be. It's more than me saying just workout harder to forget about it. It doesn't go away and you just might hurt yourself in the long run by ignoring it and just beating yourself up in the process.

When it comes to exercise, I walk you through an assessment so I know what mobilizations, stretches and lifts that are to your benefit and not increasing the risk.

The more I have learned about mindset work the more it comes into my business model. I have added energy work or all sorts to help clear some feelings and such that you feel you have worked on and feel that they need a bit more help being released. I am also adding some astrology to this as well. I have found this has been extremely helpful in understanding yourself. The past few weeks my clients have apprecited what I have learned in this area because the energy of holidays was far more intense than normal and more than jsut the season. It's not about predicting futures by any means. We have free will. It's a way to understand yourself and the world around you in another way. Without addressing the mindset you will get stuck. Being stuck is not the same as being in a plateau.

With the price of everything going up you may be wondering "how do I get in shape? afford the gym? let alone a trainer? This is why I put together the Online 12 week Booty Building Strength and Nutrition Program. Guys you need a booty too! I know you don't want old man no-butt and big belly as you get older. These exercises are universal.

Everything you need is there. the 28 Day Challenge is literally FREE you just download all the information plus a free workout so you can have an idea of what the exercises are like. Ladies you are experiencing menopausal sysmtoms. This is an ideal way to start. Menopausal ladies doing high intensity workouts will have a negative feedback on you. There is a way to approach this and the biggest way is to be consistent and go slow. I am putting a free program together for my clients in menopause. I've been in menopause for over 20 years and no hormone therapy, no hot flashes and minimal weight gain. That weight gain didn't happen until going into my 50's so it's an age related than menopausal which through proper nutrition and weight training can be slowed down. Notice I didn't say stopped. Sarcopenia is a normal fact of life as we age. Keep your eye out for this...I'm getting off topic so it's time to end this and go check out the 12 Week Online Booty Building Strength and Nutrition Program. You have lifetime access for a one time price.

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